Thursday, October 17, 2019

Black Swan author Nick Taleb says Trump's letter to Erdogan will be remembered in international affairs as the 2019 version of the Cossaks letter to the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed IV.



It is reported that around 1675 the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed IV sent a letter to the Zaporozhian Cossacks, which gave an ultimatum to stop attacking his lands and unconditionally surrender to his rule. Dating of the letter is uncertain, as is the fact that the letter is authentic or not. The recipient was Koshovyi Otaman Ataman Ivan Sirko, whose people actually often attacked areas of the Ottoman Empire. 

The Cossacks said this:

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself, Greetings! What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
Signed,
Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.
I would imagine that at this point a loud, lusty cheer went up from the host, and they rode off happily bellowing on their way to loot some other corner of the Sultan's domain.

5 comments:

  1. If they had the Internet in those days they would have sent the Sultan this
    Youtube video with their resopnse. I would have added a few words to their
    letter: You don't even want to mess with our women!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4_PWKOCz0U

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  2. That is SO FRICKIN FAAAAABULOUS!!!!!!

    Oh, for men like this again.

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  3. And the poor translator who rendered it into accurate Arabic was burned at the stake, slowly...

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  4. people in mesa az should behave and stayhave. my ukrainian cossack neighbors just moved there from colorado. the sons are almost as wicked with a blade as the father.

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