Saturday, June 13, 2020

Tales From the CHAZ

Government is hard, but it's even harder when your government is based on identity politics instead of individual rights.
They are now descending into absurdity.
When you start from an incorrect premise, and ideologically refuse to consider and in fact demonize any other ideas, you have little hope for success.  Consequently, you can see the most glorious and best bits of the Chazian struggle to govern, so far at least, right here:
Introducing: Conflict Resolution Advisory Council
We will form a unique system called the Conflict Resolution Advisory Council.
  1. We hold a community democratic vote to appoint three people to the Council. To eliminate prejudice, we elect one Black man, one Black woman, and one white (what, "white" isn't capitalized? Pray tell, oh tolerant Chazian, why not?) woman. Each person should undergo at least one 45 minute sensitivity and political training session which we can help organize.
  2. Whenever there is an internal conflict in the Zone, it will be put to the Council. Both people will have an opportunity to present their side of the story to the Council to review.
  3. The Council members will decide on a fair resolution and provide it as advice. Initially the Council will be advisory only. In the future the system could evolve to become more mature with binding resolutions, impositions, retribution, enforcement, and imprisonment.
The appointed people will hear out and settle any internal disputes within the Zone. We're not suggesting that this Council members become leaders or judges, only referees in case of internal conflicts.
Edit 1: After receiving feedback about inclusiveness we shall include in the council one Black man, one Black woman, one trans Black person, one non-binary Black person, and one white woman (5 4 people).
Edit 2: On more feedback we will add to the Council 1 Asian non-male, 1 Native American non-male, and 1 Latinx non-male, and then 4 additional Black men and women to balance it out. In total there are 3 + 4 + 4 = 11 members.
Edit 3: We've received some feedback about including disabledpersons (mental and physical) and homelesspersons on the Council. 20% or 40% of the Council should be persons with lived experience of disability. At least 10% should be experiencing involuntary homelessness.
Edit 4: We realize LGBTQIA communities are being under-represented in the Council so far and are working on proposals to rectify this. The final composition of the balanced Council will likely include 10-50% people who identify as LGBTQIA.
Edit 5: We have agreed to add 3 more seats, two of which are to give a voice to the disadvantaged LGBTQIA community, and one to give children equal representation and fairness. The new seats include one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black disabledperson, one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black homelessperson, and one for a non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15.
Edit 6: There have been further concerns raised over the efficacy of the Council to deal with disputes between children, as children are currently not adequately represented. In light of the feedback, we will add child safety training programs to the onboarding session and add one additional seat for another non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15 (preferably disabled).

But what about representation for one-armed Belgian lesbians born in January who self identify as time traveling space spirits???
This stuff writes itself.

Honestly, when all this is said and done, I think the Chazians will gain a new appreciation for what our country's founding fathers were able to accomplish way back in the 1700's, under threat of death from the world's then super power.
Meanwhile, what is represented to be a National Guardsman's take on the scene as it was before the Mayor gave up and ordered them to cede everything to the mob.


  1. Does that mean people are on CRAC?

  2. And the ruling of the Advisory Council can be vetoed by anybody with a gun.

    I feel bad for the National Guard. They are being fucked over by politicians - once again.

  3. one APC towing a water buffalo spraying CN would end this lunacy in seconds

    lock them up incommunicado 72 hours with no shower or change of clothes

  4. Wait...was that whole CRAC missive satire? It sure sounds like Babylon Bee wrote it. Or maybe Steve Martin in "The Jerk".

  5. Next Step:

    The Democratic Peoples Republic of CHAZ has been given a seat on the United Nations Security Council with Veto powers.

  6. I have the best solution...octagon

  7. Does anyone else remember that short-lived TV series in the early 70's called 'The New People'? Written by Rod Serling, a plane full of college students crashes on a remote South Pacific island that was set up as a nuclear test site but never used? All the adults died in the crash, full proto-city constructed by the Army and just sitting there. Yeah. It might still be available, just sayin'.

    1. I do. Don't remember the name, but everything had AEC stencilled on it.
      I was pretty young at the time, so I just took it at face value, no questions asked. Specifically, the episode about what to do with all the guns laying around.


  8. The link to Facebook is gone. Surprise. Mirror it on Gab for Gods sake!

  9. What about Eskimos. There is a small but significant Eskimo community in Seattle.

    And there are a lot of Mexicans who live there. The La Familia Michoacan cartel has a significant presence in town. Where do they think that the meth and the fentanyl comes from? Why don't they have a voice?

    No Juustice No Peace

  10. "The Council members will decide on a fair resolution and provide it as advice. Initially the Council will be advisory only. In the future the system could evolve to become more mature with binding resolutions, impositions, retribution, enforcement, and imprisonment."

    That's so cute. Just like planting the "garden", the CHAZ-istanians think they're going to be there that long.

  11. I think that Trump should decide to 'protect' CHAZ settlement and then encircle it with armor and infantry and then jam all cell traffic. After all, they are their own nation. Let them develop their own infrastructure. No water. No sewer. No cable or power. Let the protestors stew in literally their own juices for a couple of weeks. It will not last long once the utilities are shut off.

    I would add, any non-protestor trapped inside the 6 block area who want to leave will be 'assisted in leaving' and not left to be hostages.