"While out for a stroll on Sunday evening, Zimmerman spotted Joseph Kony, the rebel leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) that has terrorized the citizens of Uganda for more than 25 years. The group garnered national attention when a bunch of white college students called for Kony’s arrest by volunteering the U.S. military for the job through a sweet film with chill music.
“Look, I don’t go looking for trouble,” Zimmerman explained. “But there were some people walking around the village who looked suspicious. I was forced to take a stand.”
When Special Forces arrived, Zimmerman was calmly standing over Kony’s lifeless body. Asked what had happened, Zimmerman said, “Look every action I took was in direct compliance with Uganda’s ‘Stand Your Ground Laws’. I calmly pulled my sidearm, and after putting Kony on his knees. I shot him in the head. I was well within my rights.”
Back at the White House, President Obama reflected on the tragedy.
“You know, had I grown up in Kenya instead of Hawaii, which is totally where I grew up by the way, this could have been me,” Obama said. “35 years ago, I could have been kidnapped by Joseph Kony — or I could have been Joseph Kony, kidnapping children.”
Somehow this sounds vaguely familiar.
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