The letter Obama should have written to the Afghans, if he had the balls and patriotism of the least of his countrymen.

‎”Dear Hamid:

I see that your goat humpers and assholes for allah are angry that we intercepted the messages they wrote inside the Korans as they desecrated your pedophile prophet’s book, and disposed of the infernal tomes properly.

If you can’t keep your primative screwheads in check, then we’ll “fire” you and get someone who can, because someday, we’d like to come home from your dusty little manure pile and come back to the land of 4 X 4s, Big Macs, bacon, beers, booze, boobs, and the freedom to indulge or refrain from each and everyone as much as we each desire.

I know you don’t really understand this, but trust us, it beats the hell out of being a splodeydope for 72 raisins. However, if you can’t get your rock-worshipping savages under control, the gloves WILL come off, because there is a new sheriff in town here, and we don’t really give two shits about “world opinion” until the world starts policing their own shit.

Hugs and kisses,

President Unrepentant American”