Not the sharpest knife in the drawer falls off a cruise ship at sea, but miraculously found after a 200 square mile search of the ocean

 On Wednesday, a male passenger and his sister were having drinks on the Carnival Valor cruise ship, sailing from New Orleans to Cozumel, Mexico, when at around 11:00 p.m., he stepped aside to use the restroom.  When he didn't come back his sis reported him missing THE NEXT DAY.

Thanks, sis.  Nothing like a "quick reaction" to bro's vanishment.

We all know what happened.  He was drunk, couldn't find the bathroom or didn't try very hard and decided to just pee off the side of the ship.  Probably climbed up on the railing to get a better shot.  Then....splash!  Likely significant airtime between the loss of balance and splashdown.

Alerted to the missing passenger, the Coast guard launched a multi-crew air and sea search mission, extending more than 200 miles across the Gulf of Mexico, according to a Coast Guard official.

Then at around 8:25 p.m., crew members on the bulk carrier CRINIS spotted the overboard passenger about 20 miles south of the Southwest Pass of Louisiana, and the MH-60 Jayhawk helicopter from New Orleans was deployed to retrieve the man.

Officials said when the passenger was pulled from the water, he was responsive and could walk but showed hypothermia, dehydration, and shock symptoms. The man reportedly did not say how he fell overboard or what time he did.  Of course he didn't, and we know why.

Rescuers were amazed that he was able to keep himself afloat in the water for an extended period of time. While they do not know how long he was in the water, officials believe he could have been in for over 15 hours.

Lucky this idjit didn't fall off during a cruise to Alaska.  The water there might not have been so toasty warm.  Plus, killer whales.  Hungry killer whales.